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Late Night Funnymen

@jimmykimmel

Stoners share the story of 4/20... #Happy420

Stoners share the story of 4/20... #Happy420

The ghost of Pavarotti dropped by to correct his “great friend" @RealDonaldTrump...

The ghost of Pavarotti dropped by to correct his “great friend" @RealDonaldTrump...

A weird new @Starbucks drink that couldn't have come soon enough...

A weird new @Starbucks drink that couldn't have come soon enough...

We ask people on Venice Beach #AreYouHigh? And their answers will NOT surprise you! #Happy420 #PedestrianQuestion

We ask people on Venice Beach #AreYouHigh? And their answers will NOT surprise you! #Happy420 #PedestrianQuestion

Why do we need this @Facebook?

Why do we need this @Facebook?

With #BillOReilly OUT, Guillermo is IN! @OReillyFactor @IamGuillermo #GuillermOFactor

With #BillOReilly OUT, Guillermo is IN! @OReillyFactor @IamGuillermo #GuillermOFactor

My apologies to anyone making a return @Costco to @TheCousinSal

My apologies to anyone making a return @Costco to @TheCousinSal

A New England @Patriots edition of #DrunkDonaldTrump

A New England @Patriots edition of #DrunkDonaldTrump

A guide to North Korea for @RealDonaldTrump

A guide to North Korea for @RealDonaldTrump

Another bewildering movie review from Yehya... #F8 @FastFurious

Another bewildering movie review from Yehya... #F8 @FastFurious

Hardcore @RealDonaldTrump fans will support him on literally anything - even Jared from Subway #LieWitnessNews...

Hardcore @RealDonaldTrump fans will support him on literally anything - even Jared from Subway #LieWitnessNews...

The voice of @United is MATT DAMON?

The voice of @United is MATT DAMON?

All the best moments from Trump’s White House Easter Egg Roll… @RealDonaldTrump @FLOTUS @PressSec @MichelleObama #JeffSessions

All the best moments from Trump’s White House Easter Egg Roll… @RealDonaldTrump @FLOTUS @PressSec @MichelleObama #JeffSessions

What makes a @Marvel superhero movie even superheroier? Stallone. #GotGVol2 @TheSlyStallone @Guardians

What makes a @Marvel superhero movie even superheroier? Stallone. #GotGVol2 @TheSlyStallone @Guardians

Older people are having more sex than ever!

Older people are having more sex than ever!

The cast of @Guardians puts their friendship to the test! #GotGVol2 @PrattPrattPratt @ZoeSaldana @DaveBautista #KurtRussell @RookerOnline

The cast of @Guardians puts their friendship to the test! #GotGVol2 @PrattPrattPratt @ZoeSaldana @DaveBautista #KurtRussell @RookerOnline

A beautiful tribute to #ErictheActor from @Barans2239 @HowardStern

A beautiful tribute to #ErictheActor from @Barans2239 @HowardStern

I am celebrating the birth of the magic @SteveMartinToGo by watching/studying his EXCELLENT @masterclass in comedy

I'm a 49-year-old man who stills gets an #Easter basket

I'm a 49-year-old man who stills gets an #Easter basket
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@StephenAtHome

Tonight! News that President Trump is fond of pushing a special red button on his desk has Stephen a bit concerned. #LSSC

Tonight! News that President Trump is fond of pushing a special red button on his desk has Stephen a bit concerned. #LSSC

Obama is reportedly receiving $400K for his first private speaking gig. Wow! It's so weird to know something about a president's finances.

Bill O’Reilly has a podcast for subscribers to his website, so your grandparents may call you tonight with a “computer question.”

Tonight! President Trump is willing to risk a government shutdown in order to win budget approval for his border wall. #LSSC

Tonight! President Trump is willing to risk a government shutdown in order to win budget approval for his border wall. #LSSC

Sessions is "amazed" an "island in the Pacific" judge can block the travel ban. Just like how I'm "bewildered" a "racist elf" can be AG.

Doesn’t look like a lot of Patriots visited the White House. Maybe some players got confused and went to Mar-a-Lago instead?

Doesn’t look like a lot of Patriots visited the White House. Maybe some players got confused and went to Mar-a-Lago instead?

Say what you will, but Bill O'Reilly always had your back. And if you were a woman, he might try for your front, too. #RipPapaBear #LSSC

Also tonight! If you can't beat him, become him: @AlecBaldwin reveals his strategy for dealing with President Trump. #LSSC

Also tonight! If you can't beat him, become him: @AlecBaldwin reveals his strategy for dealing with President Trump. #LSSC

British PM Theresa May stuns the world by calling for an election less than halfway through her term. Hey, how come THEY get to do that?

I'm so sorry to hear of Dorothy Mengering's death, and so grateful that Dave shared her with us.

3 mile race. Personal best! (Hope my urine sample comes back clean.) #RunForAdela

3 mile race. Personal best! (Hope my urine sample comes back clean.) #RunForAdela

Don Rickles hugged me once. It's all been downhill from there. God bless you, Rickles.

Tonight: Stephen wades into the uproar around Pepsi's "protest" ad, and finds there may be a hidden message. #LSSC

Tonight: Stephen wades into the uproar around Pepsi's "protest" ad, and finds there may be a hidden message. #LSSC
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@ConanOBrien

Serious question: Is there a Melania Jong Un?

Let's settle this the old-fashioned way: Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump at dawn in New Jersey.

Trump’s biggest accomplishment in his first 100 days has been making it seem like much longer.

It’s springtime in LA, which means I’m still wearing my Ugg boots, but with short shorts.

For the record, yes, I found this photo to be deeply insulting:

For the record, yes, I found this photo to be deeply insulting:

What if the man in Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” is actually just singing “Day-O” from “The Banana Boat Song?”

I still don't know what nougat is.

Pro tip: if you’re caught peeing in public, write the word “Hi” – now you’re expressing a First Amendment right.

I demand a 5-hour energy drink where I choose when and how much energy to dole out, over the course of a century.

This summer, camp counselors all over the country will shine flashlights under their chins and read the headlines.

My two favorite things about Easter morning are (1) hiding the eggs and (2) the looks on my kids' faces when the snakes start to hatch.

Pretty chill night. Hung out with these guys.

Pretty chill night. Hung out with these guys.

I wish President Trump would stop calling “Good Friday” “Tremendous Friday, the Greatest Friday you’ve ever seen.”

The most exciting part of Easter egg hunts at my house is when suddenly the hunted become the hunters.

MOVIE IDEA: Equels. It's the movie you're watching.

Does it make me seem more badass if I drink this Sleepytime Herbal Tea out of a human skull?

“Tinder is the Night” #UpdateAFitzgeraldNovel #HashtagsWithOnlyOneResponse

Sometimes I think the bulk packages at Costco are too large. Who needs 12 condoms?!

In Indiana, a 94-year-old woman has worked at McDonald’s for the past 44 years. And she’s almost finished paying off her student loans.

Just think, pretty soon we'll have self-driving cars to masturbate in.

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@jimmyfallon

Thank you @jimmyfallon for having me on your show! I really am a massive fan so meant a lot to me cheers!! #jimmyfallon

My dentist’s business card says, “teeth are the windows to the soul.” #MyWeirdDentist

Hashtag game! Tweet out something weird, funny, or embarrassing about your dentist and tag it with #MyWeirdDentist. Could be on the show!

Since last nights performance on @jimmyfallon, @JamesArthur23 SYWLG has moved up to 7 on the iTunes chart, ahead of Ed Sheeran!!❤🤘🏼🇺🇸

Since last nights performance on @jimmyfallon, @JamesArthur23 SYWLG has moved up to 7 on the iTunes chart, ahead of Ed Sheeran!!❤🤘🏼🇺🇸

.@jimmyfallon's new ride at Universal was awesome! And no wait time always a plus 👌🏻

.@jimmyfallon's new ride at Universal was awesome! And no wait time always a plus 👌🏻

Tonight: @DrPhil, @Lesdoggg, @RickRoss performs ft @youngthug & @Wale, and more! #FallonTonight

Tonight: @iamjohnoliver and @pattonoswalt are here, @JamesArthur23 performs, and a new segment called Tonight Showbotics! #FallonTonight

Thanks @jimmyfallon for such a fun experience! We love @FallonTonight!!!

Thanks @jimmyfallon for such a fun experience! We love @FallonTonight!!!

I can't stop singing Party At My Parents House.

@jimmyfallon Still jamming out to that opening. Had me on my feet! 🎉💃🏻#LetsDance

@jimmyfallon Still jamming out to that opening. Had me on my feet! 🎉💃🏻#LetsDance

dam it I am 60 years old and can't stop walking around the house humming party at my parents house. @jimmyfallon

Wait til you see what @kobebryant does tonight on the show. Wait. #Family #Matters #Crush #FallonTonight #FUN NBC now.

Tonight: @kobebryant, Kathryn Hahn, and music from @BigBoi! #FallonTonight

Tonight: @kobebryant, Kathryn Hahn, and music from @BigBoi! #FallonTonight
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