Late Night Funnymen
We ask people on Venice Beach #AreYouHigh? And their answers will NOT surprise you! #Happy420 #PedestrianQuestion
Hardcore @RealDonaldTrump fans will support him on literally anything - even Jared from Subway #LieWitnessNews...
All the best moments from Trump’s White House Easter Egg Roll… @RealDonaldTrump @FLOTUS @PressSec @MichelleObama #JeffSessions
What makes a @Marvel superhero movie even superheroier? Stallone. #GotGVol2 @TheSlyStallone @Guardians
The cast of @Guardians puts their friendship to the test! #GotGVol2 @PrattPrattPratt @ZoeSaldana @DaveBautista #KurtRussell @RookerOnline
I am celebrating the birth of the magic @SteveMartinToGo by watching/studying his EXCELLENT @masterclass in comedy
Tonight! News that President Trump is fond of pushing a special red button on his desk has Stephen a bit concerned. #LSSC
Obama is reportedly receiving $400K for his first private speaking gig. Wow! It's so weird to know something about a president's finances.
Bill O’Reilly has a podcast for subscribers to his website, so your grandparents may call you tonight with a “computer question.”
Tonight! President Trump is willing to risk a government shutdown in order to win budget approval for his border wall. #LSSC
Sessions is "amazed" an "island in the Pacific" judge can block the travel ban. Just like how I'm "bewildered" a "racist elf" can be AG.
Doesn’t look like a lot of Patriots visited the White House. Maybe some players got confused and went to Mar-a-Lago instead?
Say what you will, but Bill O'Reilly always had your back. And if you were a woman, he might try for your front, too. #RipPapaBear #LSSC
Also tonight! If you can't beat him, become him: @AlecBaldwin reveals his strategy for dealing with President Trump. #LSSC
British PM Theresa May stuns the world by calling for an election less than halfway through her term. Hey, how come THEY get to do that?
I'm so sorry to hear of Dorothy Mengering's death, and so grateful that Dave shared her with us.
Yeah! That's Deep!
I'm honored to receive the American Jazz Museum Lifetime Achievement Award. It is a privilege to represent our culture.
Don Rickles hugged me once. It's all been downhill from there. God bless you, Rickles.
Let's settle this the old-fashioned way: Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump at dawn in New Jersey.
Trump’s biggest accomplishment in his first 100 days has been making it seem like much longer.
It’s springtime in LA, which means I’m still wearing my Ugg boots, but with short shorts.
What if the man in Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” is actually just singing “Day-O” from “The Banana Boat Song?”
Pro tip: if you’re caught peeing in public, write the word “Hi” – now you’re expressing a First Amendment right.
I demand a 5-hour energy drink where I choose when and how much energy to dole out, over the course of a century.
This summer, camp counselors all over the country will shine flashlights under their chins and read the headlines.
My two favorite things about Easter morning are (1) hiding the eggs and (2) the looks on my kids' faces when the snakes start to hatch.
I wish President Trump would stop calling “Good Friday” “Tremendous Friday, the Greatest Friday you’ve ever seen.”
The most exciting part of Easter egg hunts at my house is when suddenly the hunted become the hunters.
Does it make me seem more badass if I drink this Sleepytime Herbal Tea out of a human skull?
In Indiana, a 94-year-old woman has worked at McDonald’s for the past 44 years. And she’s almost finished paying off her student loans.
Thank you @jimmyfallon for having me on your show! I really am a massive fan so meant a lot to me cheers!! #jimmyfallon
Hashtag game! Tweet out something weird, funny, or embarrassing about your dentist and tag it with #MyWeirdDentist. Could be on the show!
Since last nights performance on @jimmyfallon, @JamesArthur23 SYWLG has moved up to 7 on the iTunes chart, ahead of Ed Sheeran!!❤🤘🏼🇺🇸
Tonight: @DrPhil, @Lesdoggg, @RickRoss performs ft @youngthug & @Wale, and more! #FallonTonight
Tonight: @iamjohnoliver and @pattonoswalt are here, @JamesArthur23 performs, and a new segment called Tonight Showbotics! #FallonTonight
dam it I am 60 years old and can't stop walking around the house humming party at my parents house. @jimmyfallon
Wait til you see what @kobebryant does tonight on the show. Wait. #Family #Matters #Crush #FallonTonight #FUN NBC now.